The Wrong Plane
It was the countdown until New Years and I was at the San Francisco airport waiting to board my flight to Australia. I had been thinking about this trip since September 2024. Was this my time to fly or was I meant to go to India and sort things out? Was I ready for India without the proper documentation I needed?
It was the beginning of a New Year and I wanted it to start in a new place, a new country, and I just wanted it to be peaceful. What is more peaceful then sleeping on a plane and arriving into beautiful weather, sunshine, and Aussies....
Usually these travel moments are easy and just a no brainer, but this time I had an internal conflict going on as I just wanted to be writing, working on my resume, applying for jobs, and focused on finding my home abroad.
God was tapping my on the shoulder saying, "Don't forget India Priscilla."
I was standing in between my gate A12 for Sydney and the gate A10 for Bangalore....Of all the cities in India...the plane was going to Bangalore and that was my moment when I bought my Coke zero and I was pacing back and forth...everyone was boarding...and I was waiting to get on the plane.
"Final boarding call for Sydney."
The airline crew member came up to me and said, "Ms. Raj we are boarding now."
And I got on the plane feeling discontent and not in the travel mood.
When I sat on the plane, there was a young guy in his 20s sitting at the window to my right side with a whole row to himself. I felt annoyed because the reservationist on the phone only gave me two options and I chose an aisle seat with the middle seat open and an Australian guy in the opposite seat. He was super friendly and started talking to me, but I felt so confused and totally out of it..... what am I doing on this plane?
They boy was so grateful and content and I felt confused- how did I get this seat, why am I on this plane? Where am I going?
I felt so discontent with the plane, my life, the lack of sleep was disturbing me and then there he was… this older Australian gentleman who ended up being my New Years Life guru- also known as a wise, intelligent functional human being who can listen and give advice(unlike my father and mother).
He asked me where I was headed and what my plans were for my trip. I told him a few of my loose plans and he said,”
"So what’s the plan? You don't have an exact idea of where you are going?"
I said, “Well I don’t know my friend will plan things out.”
At first, he was annoying me and I was thinking, "This is going to be a long flight with this guy talking the whole time, but boy did he come around for me in such a beautiful meeting between two people on the biggest holiday of the year.
He said he was living in Florida, but he was originally from Australia and you could hear that true Australian accent. He had been married a few times and had a few start ups.
He spoke highly about his son and how he planned to go into business with him and he was funding or supporting his business ideas and ventures for SpaceX and then
I said, “Wow, a supportive amazing parent he is really blessed in the most genuine and non -envious way I could.
When you hear the stories about these beautiful, incredible parents and you are dealt a bad card with parents- you have the right to be bitter and envious, but that will never contribute to growth. You move on from that and find supportive figures.
We were just talking on and off with our headphones in between meals, snacks, and wine. He ate his food very fast and I was not sure whether he was one of those “heavy drinkers.” I was just focused watching a movie and he asked for another meal, which they ended up bringing two for him and he gave me one-a mushroom risotto on top of the braised beef I already had eaten.
He said his New Year was a cluster f word of bad so he is hoping for a better New Year. I said that mine was half bad and half good, but overall it was ok.
I said, "Let's cheers to a better year and lots of personal and professional growth." Cheers
The lights were turned down on the plane and people were going into their sleep mode, but we sat talking with one another. We finished our meals, put our trays up, and just leaned in our heads towards one another on the seat talking about life....what went wrong in my life and how I came to this transitional point, which he emphasized was very "normal" and "OK" for someone who just turned 40.
He could sense the trauma I experienced with my parents and how much love I had for India, but I wanted to be there as a Indian citizen not as a tourist.
He went to the bathroom and when he came back, he said "I was really thinking about what you need and I give you advice only to help you." You need to get your priorities straight..aligned for yourself.. and then only focus on things that contribute to them. Do not focus on small stuff or people that are hurting you or causing you pain-cut them off and move forward with what you want.
"What do you want Priscilla?"
That question was such a complex answer, but the answer I was working on actively, which was finding a remote job and moving to a place where I can commit, settle down, and be happy."
Is that India? Well if it was.....Wouldn't I have been on that plane?
There was definitely some hesitation that was still there and he could also feel that and was asking me to figure out alternatives.
I shared with him how I dedicated years of time-10 to getting to know myself and focusing on growth through life experiences and travels.
He said, "If you are growing as a person then you are trying and you should be trying until the day you die."
The statements this man was making were so profound and it was just exactly what I needed to hear at the right time.....clearly I was in the right seat and on the right plane.
I told him that the gate next to me was for Bangalore… India… I explained to him the situation with my father not providing documentation and how I was making excuses rather than going and trying it out based off the 7 months of connections that I had made in India.
He said, "How do you know something won’t work out if you don’t give it 100 percent?"
I agreed with what he was saying and I was providing my own answers to my life battles of not being able to properly settle down, running place to place, and not fully committing to a lease, a full time job, and a life somewhere. I was running away from my own happiness and I was not giving myself a chance to focus on priorities and only myself.
"Leaving the dysfunction and the lack of stability behind, what do you want, what is important to you, and how will you achieve it? If things in Chicago do not make you happy then why do you keep returning?
I told him I need like a life coach to organize my life and just tell me what to do without me wondering from place to place. A one year contract or any sort of commitment encourages fear…And I know there is a fear or illness that causes me to procrastinate and not follow through on long term life goals.
Fear of failure or fear of rejection or fear of commitment?
I knew that there was a shift at 40 and I feel the shift with my mind and body telling me, “What are you doing here?”
Why are you running and what are you running from?
You were given so many gifts, talents, and abilities and you are not profiting off of them and this is the problem for your family. You are gifted and not successful and that is shameful for both sides.
It is really the hardest part getting the life goals in order… it’s so hard for me and I told him I wish there was just a Google maps "Start" and "End" destination for me so I could know where exactly to go...
but God definitely gave me the green light with India-he gave me the right friends, the right opportunities and i left….
He said I was very intelligent and well engineered (nice compliment), but he could sense that I was comparing myself to others and being very critical of myself.
He compared my current life conflict to the South Korea plane where 180 people tragically died....the plane should have kept going on the runway but instead it came to a screeching haunt with 180 passengers dead.
It hit a concrete wall it could not go any further.....
Life came to a concrete wall where there is no place to turn - it was obvious God had slammed all the doors I had to exit the plane and I feel like I'm hitting a brick wall.....
While he definitely was a businessman, I was not sure of his financial status. Was this guy super wealthy and hiding it with all his businesses and start ups?
He said to me half way into our conversation, "Do you want to go to India? If you do when you get off this plane, I can make sure you get a ticket straight to India?"
For a stranger on a plane to care about your life in that way and your parents have not one concern or worry about your life goals and life's happiness....I'm speechless.
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